Welcome to the first day of practice Kindergarten were the first words I said to my sleepy eyed, but bouncy 20 little gremlins on our first day back from spring break. Practice Kindergarten, I went on to explain, is the last six weeks of Pre-K where we get to try out Kindergarten and see if we are ready. We said goodbye to nap, hello to lamplight silent math and differentiated math centers. We waved at our (fictional--although all but TM believe it to be very real) Kindergarten teacher spy cam which records their every move and dove in. I have NEVER taught this much material and been this much of a stickler about anything in my entire life. If the shift were not noticeable enough in the schedule, it is noticeable in the student's attitude, my even higher expectations and the no-nonsense philosophy busting at the seams of our classroom. It has actually become an interesting paradox, as I have never been as proud of my students as I am in this moment, but I have always never pushed them harder. I gave them the seemingly impossible task of Kindergarten and in return, they are showing me how very possible it is.
I am working day and night. I am asking my students to work harder and more relentlessly than they have ever worked in their tiny lives and in turn, I am asking myself to do the same. To push myself as I am pushing them, all in the name of being ready. I have stated before that based on national testing, my students started the year in the 15th percentile of all Pre-K kids in the nation. However, I have recently gained access to that document and in fact, my class is lower than the district, meaning my class is at an even lower 11th percentile overall and 5 of my kids are in the 1th percentile in at least one category. Gives new meaning to the 1% I guess. With this data, mediocrity cannot be tolerated. Therefore, these past few weeks I have been finding a way to communicate to my children immense pride in their work without allowing them to be comfortable knowing only what they know, but asking them to thirst to achieve even more.
My goal is such. I want my kids to end the year in the 50th percentile. While jumping from 11th to 50th seems like a big jump, I think of myself as a child. I must admit, I don't know what my percentile was in Pre-K, nor any grade in anything until about late high school when things like the SAT, ACT and more started to matter. But, I remember shuddering at my TAKS percentile in science because it was in the 70s. The 70s. It sounds a bit nutty now to know I would be disappointed in that score once you meet the "1%"; however, it just infuriates me and ignites my passion to get my kids there.
So this week I start the testing cycles. I have 4 tests to administer in 4 weeks. Each test takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half per student and must be administered one on one. Not to mention, with all this high stakes testing going on, I am refusing to give up my small group time or whole group instruction time and instead find myself cornered in the room at recess, lunch and before and after school testing student after student. But its worth it. If one more guided reading session could help Z jump from before Pre-Read to Pre-Read by learning just one more letter, it is worth it. I might be exhausted, overworked and overtried, but my excitement at the impending success keeps my chin up proud.
And I am so proud. Let me say this now, before I get the data which will inevitably make me tear up in both disappointment and relief at what my kids learned and what I failed at teaching them, that I am proud no matter what. OH MY GOD they have come far. Farther than I could have hoped and I am sure they will continue to impress and amaze me even after they leave my care. So on the brink of big news that is sure to be a mix of joys and disappointments (reminiscent of years ago, waiting for college acceptance letters) I want to tell the world that even if my kids fail every assessment, we will still credit this year as a victory. They have shown a passion to learn, an ability to rise to ever-increasing expectations and a maturity I am not sure I even exhibited at such a young age (or even exhibit at my own age now). While I will hold off all celebrations and congratulations for the next few crucial weeks as the final results roll in and the last lessons are hopefully absorbed by my genius children, I want the world to know I am internally celebrating not my own success as a first year teacher, but the success of my children in their first year of school. It was a year of firsts for us all and while firsts are generally associated with mistakes, accidents and misguided events, our first was a great one.
"A hard beginning maketh a good ending."
-John Heywood
