When I first realized as I opened the clean slate of a new blog post that I wanted to explain the "just noticeable difference" in the context of my classroom, I used my dear friend Wikipedia in an attempt to show me the real academic definition. However, left with sophisticated jargon and formulas way beyond my comprehension, I will explain it just as it was explained to me. So for my friends on the world wide web who are extremely proficient in science and academia, please excuse my incoming feeble attempt to explain the concept of the "just noticeable difference".
Imagine you are in a room with 5000 candles. Someone comes in and lights one more. You cannot tell the difference in brightness with your eyes because your perception is not that acute. However, if someone continually keeps lighting one more candle and adding it to the room over and over again, at some point, you would notice it got brighter. That is the "just noticeable difference". It is the nth candle that wakes you up and makes you realize, hey it is brighter in here, despite the fact that each and every candle before that was actually contributing to the brightness change.
Again, sorry for any scholars who may know that I have misinterpreted the concept or have been misled, if I am wrong, I am content with that because my definition of the "just noticeable difference" is perfect in this context.
Alas, after a long explanation, to the point. My class has reached the point of a just-noticeable difference. I have been astounded at the progress my students have appeared to make over the three week intercession and while I know I have been figuratively adding candles to their rooms day after day after day, it was hard not to walk in on Monday and think, wow these are different kids. The gains my kids make day to day are so miniscule that sometimes it is hard to perceive how much the miniscule differences add up to until you leave for awhile. Sometimes I wish so much I could go back and relive my first day of teaching, not changing anything, but just observing my kids and seeing how far they have come behaviorally, socially and academically from day one to now. Actually, I would love to see how much I have grown professionally as well. It would be a hard bet to discern which of us have grown the most--myself or the little ones, but either way, at least we are improving.
So today, I do not have a lot to say really, but I want to give you a story. To illustrate my point, I will bring in S, the ladies' man of the class. S came in extremely low and lacking any confidence. He was a huge behavior problem (and still is to some extent) although he was always very overshadowed by the bigger issues of the infamous T and C. Anytime S had a writing utensil, he would attempt to eat it or get up and run from the table. He refused to write out of fear of failure and if coerced into doing it, he would draw two or three straight lines and say, "me done". His mom reported a similar problem at home. Not only that, but in small group time, most of my kids favorite time as it involves more attention from the teacher, S would act out constantly and whine and fall out of his chair if asked to count cubes or do any sort of learning. In carpet time, S would hit other kids or try to make moves on the little girls but would never participate in class. His favorite past time was pulling at the tape of the rug and then eating it. And perhaps most disturbingly, when you would so much and touch S on the shoulder or try to grab him when he decided it was time to take a quick jog around the classroom, he would scream "OUUUUUH" and melt onto the floor like you had just tackled him. Obviously, on the quarter assessment, he was tied for the lowest score in both ELA and math and showed little progress. What disturbed me most; however, was his absolute lack of excitement to learn, a trait absolutely inherent in four year olds.
But now, for some reason, it clicked. We reached the point of the just noticeable difference and all the sudden my little ladies man is a new man. Not only is he participating actively on the rug, but he is getting the answers right. I here his little voice booming with the other kids with "rhombus!" when I point at a shape and I see his little arm waving excitedly to answer questions. In small groups, he is not only staying at the table, but he is often the first in his group to find the answer and proudly holds his little chest high. Perhaps most notably, he is now writing not just when required, but in center time, he is getting out pieces of paper and taking notes about the tall tall buildings he is creating in the blocks center. And he can now write his first name and is getting pretty good at his last name too. Behaviorally, he is excited to learn and on task most of the time; however, he still has some work. Nap time to S looks a lot more like gym, as he loves to run around the room and lay down, stand up, lay down, stand up all nap long (driving me INSANE I might add). Also, the kid is still absolutely fixated on eating inappropriate objects and is still chasing skirts like he is 16 instead of 4, but he has come a LONG LONG way. I cannot help but absolutely gloat in excitement at the progress of S. I must admit, at the end of last quarter, I was so worried about S, as he just seemed to not be willing to learn. But sometime between day one and now, he flipped the switch and now I am confident he is going to end the year, not just on par, but probably above some of the other kids.
I have a lot of stories like this from day one to now; however, S has such a dynamic little personality, I thought he was the story most worth sharing. I worked another long week this week and another tireless weekend and I had my fair share of trials and tribulations for the first week back. However, at the end of the day, if I don't focus on the just noticeable differences and I don't celebrate the little steps that can feel like leaps for a four year old, I will not be able to get out of bed in the morning. So while it may be unhealthy to dream about teaching letters and fall asleep hearing my para's voice echoing in my ear, "S, get that out of your mouth", I wouldn't trade it. I love my kids and so somehow in the absurdity that my life has become, I find peace and gratitude.
To end, I had a memory the other day of one Thanksgiving talking with my Grandpa Waier, probably sometime in high school, maybe early college about the future, ambition and what not and I remember the advice he gave me to this moment. I like to think at this point in my life, I am following his advice. He said it in his own words, but I never forgot the message and here it is:
"Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life." -Confucius
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