A Community of Caring

Things are looking up. Amongst the craziness that is a class full of 4 year olds, good things are happening.

I realized this on Monday morning this week when in the writing center, one of my brightest students was drawing smiley faces on a paper with concentration and focus. I watched him as he found T's laminated name and etched silently the letters of his name onto the paper. He was mimicking the behavior tracker I use with T daily. He showed me sheepishly and said, Ms. Knipp, I want T to get all smiley faces every single day and when he can get all smiley faces, I want to give him one of my toys.

I realized this on Tuesday when I was so sick I could barely speak and the students asked me with the sweetest hesitation what was wrong with my voice and actually WERE quieter when I told them I was very sick. Then on Thursday, when my voice came back, when the students were overjoyed to see that Ms. Knipp was feeling better and hoped I did not get sick again.

I realized this on Wednesday when I discovered that C asks with intrigue and concern everyday where so and so is, depending on who is absent. C, who seemed to look through the other kids the first week of school, is always the first to notice an absent student and the first to comment on the Superstar of the Day. Due to C's behavior issues, he even has a quiet place in his room where he can work and on Wednesday, he let T and another student play with him there because he wanted to share.

I realized this on Thursday when G (one of my three year olds) was sitting in my small group with me and raised a quiet hand to tell me, Ms. Knipp, I love you.

I realized this on Friday when my students spontaneously burst into song during center time singing the song we had been singing every morning in morning meeting, ___ is here, ___ is here, it's a great day because ___ is here (inserting the name of every classmate as we go around the circle).

Behavior is getting better every single day. Academics are still far off, but I now have data and assessments which will give me a better idea of where to go with my kids. And now we have a little community.

Personally, it was a rough week. I had flu like symptoms at the beginning of the week which included two days of essentially losing my voice and one day spent running in and out of the bathroom to throw up while teaching. But with this sickness, I forced myself to take better care of myself. At this point, I have only worked 58 hours this week and I plan to work no more than 4 tomorrow. It is still a lot, but compared to the 80 average I have going, it is something. I went out to dinner on a school night, I came home before 6 most nights and tonight I am going to a pool party. I even went on a run today, which was perfect for endorphins, exploration and mind clearing. Things are slowing down and looking up.

I am not a great teacher yet, in fact I am increasingly mediocre. But I am learning quick and improving rapidly. When I look back to the first day of school to now, I feel like I have grown more in five short weeks than I did in an entire year of college. Maybe in my entire three years of college---okay maybe not, but close. This realization helps me remain optimistic and driven in the face of sickness, low test results and still serious behavior issues.

So today, for perhaps the first time since teaching, I write a post where I focus fully and wholeheartedly on the successes. It took awhile, but I have a community of caring in my corner of the school and that is something. We still have issues with pushing, shoving, tattle telling, name calling and lack of sharing, but nonetheless a solid foundation has formed. Next step, to increase the caring and additionally create a community of academic curiosity and drive.

Keep me in your thoughts and please don't worry. My job is difficult, but rewarding and my heart is in it 100%. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

I miss and love you all!

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." -Albert Einstein